menage a trois

by Omar Gonzalez

 

I. Maya/Olmec/Mexica/Toltec Love

I remember you from 500 or so years ago… 
I have the memory of your eyes looking straight into my soul and our past lives…
You recognized me from some ancient rain forest long since paved over…
Maya/Olmec/Mexica/Toltec timeless… 
Destino…TIME & SPACE obliterated…
Next time there will be no smallpox, no HIV, no homophobia to distract us/to get in our way…
Me entregaré en tí…
Skin on skin
No barriers—latex, lenguaje, or any other…

We will nourish each other…
Our bodies become our only sustenance…

But I was stricken with the new plague…
You used indigenous medicinal magic extracted from yerbas long since extinct to sustain me…for awhile…
But not even all the corn temple & sea goddesses could save me from the scourge brought here from + (christ)ian eurocivilization…
My body, marked and disfigured, cuts loose its spirit…
I pass into the next cycle of life…yet
I vowed to meet you again…
Is that what we saw in each other’s eyes?

Memories of ancient civilizations ancient peoples ancient tongues ancient rituals ancient existences
And a longing…
A longing and a yearning so deep and profound que las palabras no lo puedandescribir…
And though you won’t be able to save me from the current plague…
I will succumb to smallpox/HIV…

However,
Tonantzin will shelter me in her templo…
La Llorona will wrap me in her rebozo…
Yemayá will stroke my body in her waves…
They will bathe me in their cariño & Will rid me of this pestilence…
Will comfort and reassure me that we will meet again and next time our love will be fully realized…

And I will wait for you—impatiently
But in a split second, I will recognize a millennium’s worth of memory in your burnt cienna colored eyes…

c/s omar g. march 2001

 

II. picnic

we sit in the tall grass on a breezy summer day

people glare contemptuously some jealously

yet we inhabit our own mysterious world

sade’s sultry voice spills out from my phone like honey

            “i swear the whole world could feel my heartbeat…”

we take turns feeding each other

when I wipe a crumb off your lip

i stare deeply into the dark infinity of your eyes

i stroke your cheek losing my fingers in your beard

you lay your head on my lap and look up into my eyes and smile

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    i melt

ella, the first lady of song, in her voice of silky satin breathily echoes my intention

            “you’re my thrill…here’s my heart on a silver platter…”

your love sustains me, nourishes me…makes me forget/yet is also my memory of life

hours seem like seconds

morrissey reminds us of life’s tragic beauty…

            “and if a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die…”

so I slip into the waiting stillness of your memory

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     forever

III. Amor Mojado/Pisces Lovin’

Vente mi

            Pescadito

                        Come swim

                                    With me

                                                In the cool

                                                            Deep aqua-blue

                                                                        Agua…deep deeper

                                                                                    Deeper and deeper

                                                                                                Vente mi pescadito

                                                                                                Come swim in me and

                                                                                    I will swim in you

                                                                        Pescadito sigue pescadito with

                                                            Yemayá watching over us

                                                Protecting us

                                    Querendonos

                        Bathing us

                                    In her cariño and unconditional maternal love…

                                                Her magic protecting you

                                                            From me…Yemayá omi o Yemayá

                                                                        Vente mi Pescadito

                                                                                    Come swim with me/in me

                                                                                                  In the cool deep aqua-blue agua

                                                               Let’s drown                                                                                                                                                                                                                              together en nuestro

                                                                                                                                    Amor Mojado

                                                                                                                        Our Pisces lovin’

c/s omar gonzalez

omar gonzalezbw.jpg

Omar Gonzalez

 

                                                        contributor 2014 first edition

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omar gonzalez is a queer poz, pocho, puto, pelon, pisces del paso, tejas. He loves The Simpsons (the first 15 seasons) and The Golden Girls, his cats—Fluffaluffagus (Fluffy for short), Marci, and Spooky, his graduate cohort, ’50s jazz, ’70s disco, ’80s new wave, ’90s house music, John Rechy and the other queer Xican@ writers from El Chuco, the films, The Last Unicorn and All about My Mother, Madeleine L’Engle, and Chico’s Tacos. He also plays tennis.